shadows and sunshine

You don’t need to experience an abusive, narcissistic marriage to know what a good one is like.  You don’t need to experience childbirth pains to know what ecstasy feels like.  You don’t need to eat rotten food to know what delicious cooking tastes like.  You don’t need to walk through devastating grief to know what …

when God doesn’t answer your prayers

a few weeks ago, my daughter had a profound revelation. At bedtime, she asked that I pray against scary thoughts and dreams. I always do and remind her that she can also talk to God about these things. I tell her “it’s just a conversation like you and me are having right now” to which …

am I still good?

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you are not just your sin nature. The message I grew up internalizing from the church was — I am nothing without Christ I need to die to my flesh I am the worst of all sinners my good works are like filthy rags the flesh …

the real good news

If Adam and Eve were the ones responsible for the corruption of mankind, then Jesus is the fulfillment of the redemption of mankind. In the same way you and I did not choose to be born with a sin nature, Jesus' atonement for our sin was paid once and for all of time on the …

is the church the oppressor?

I remember as a teen being heavily burdened with those caught in human trafficking. I remember crying out to God and wanting to help but not having a clue where to start. I specifically remember one night doodling in my journal that I was “marked for justice”. For a short while, I got involved with …

Maybe they left the church in search of God

When I first began having questions about God, fear and shame filled me for even having these thoughts. I had never questioned God’s omnipotence, the inerrancy of the Bible, the afterlife - really, any of your typical evangelical Christian beliefs. I didn’t tell anyone, not even Chris because I wasn’t sure myself what was happening …

When Loss Changes the Way You Pray

WHOA it has been a hot minute. Do people even read blogs anymore? Now we speak through videos and write in emojis and honestly, I'm all here for it, but sometimes it's just nice to put down thoughts to paper - or in this case a blank computer screen. I felt the urge to write …

Escaping Motherhood

Motherhood is nothing short of a roller coaster of emotions. One moment on a high and the next plummeting so low I wish I could escape it all if only for an hour. And I do. I make it to lunch knowing relief is coming soon. I put the baby down for their afternoon nap …

From Winter to Spring

I think it’s safe to say we’re all ready for spring. I mean, once New Year’s comes and goes I’m done with winter and ready for warm weather, but this winter’s been especially brutal. Snow and ice on repeat for days, weeks, months. This morning, I read Psalm 30 and verse 5 felt like it …

Encountering Leprosy

Even with all the research I had done the night before (I mean google, nonetheless), a seed of doubt lay embedded in my mind that I could still catch the disease. As our team of six walked into the women’s dorm, a long room lined with rows of metal-framed beds, both compassion and fear gripped …